When either married or unmarried couples with children separate, their chief concern typically is their children. They worry about how the changes will affect their children and about how much time they’ll get to spend with them. They want to know where the children will live and how much child support they’ll need to pay or be able to receive. They want to know how they can “win” custody of their children. The key is to figure out how to help the children. Parents don’t win custody cases; custody cases are about helping children to survive.